I stood in line behind forty others waiting for my turn in the cave; for my turn with her. I’ve been standing in this line for more than 3 days now, since the day I’d turned sixteen. It was well past noon now and Inevitably I became acquainted with the men standing in queue with me. I didn’t want to enter the cave; but I had to. The law stated that any man over the age of 16 must participate. The world depended on it.
The guy who was two spaces ahead of me had the record for lasting the longest in the cave with her. His first attempt was a washout. He was done in 30 seconds. The second time however he’d been better prepared. He lasted an hour and 4 minutes: twenty one minutes more than the previous record holder.
“I saw something in her eyes,” he told us as we listened with rapt attention. “I’d almost made her come… maybe a couple of minutes more and I’d have rid the land of this curse. That is why I am going to try for a third time.”
Each of us knew what would happen if he failed now. His soul would be lost forever and he’d end up as a design on her cloak like thousands of others before him. That was however the least of any of our worries. Time for our planet was running out. We only had six more months to satisfy the lust of the woman in the cave.We begged him for more details.
“You all know the origin stories right?” he asked us. This drew a lot of blank stares from his audience, including me. He sighed tiredly, as if to remark here we go again.
“There is a lot of mystery surrounding the origins of the cave,” he began.“The only thing we all know for sure is that the cave came into existence twenty five years ago. On that same day all the leaders of the world got a message that there was a woman in the cave demanding carnal satisfaction. Unless her cravings were not fulfilled in twenty five years, the world would end.”
“As you can expect, nobody believed it. The entire world thought it was some elaborate hoax set up by some people. However the media picked it up and the news spread like wildfire. Men from all over the world descended on the cave with wildly exaggerated claims about their sexual prowess and how they were going to give it to this bitch who was asking for it.”
“Remember, we didn’t know about the three-time rule then and the system wasn’t as regulated as it is today. For the first two-three months, it was a mad exhibition of testosterone charged ignorance. A lot of us were kids back then and gathered snippets from dinner table conversations which in turn were fueled by gossip.”
“One of the first theories to surface about the woman was that she was a cursed Goddess trapped in a human body because she was horny. An entire religion sprung around her…”
“Wait…” a boy not much older than me interrupted, “why didn’t the world leaders just destroy the cave? Like… I don’t know… drop a bomb on it or something and get it over with? Or at least take her into custody and question her?”
“Well for starters it seemed unwarranted. I mean, it was a woman asking for sex. That’s all and as for the world will end if she weren’t satisfied clause, nobody took it very seriously for a long time. In fact only after that famous incident involving the Prime Minister did the governments decide to intervene. After that we tried to bomb the cave once. However everyone died mysteriously before they could even reach here.”
“You all know that story right? Happened about 7 years ago…”
“Wasn’t the prime minister the previous record holder?” the same boy again.
“Yes… he was” the man said and we detected a hint of pride in his voice.
“What about women?” this time it was a guy who was going in for the second time. Everybody called him K. After his first attempt, he’d travelled the earth and studied every form of love making known to human kind. Some stories about him entered realms of bestiality and necrophilia. It was said that even corpses yielded under his technique. He was sure that he was going to blow her away. He had savior of the planet tattooed across his penis. Literally.
“What about women?” the man shot back at him.
“Well women too were allowed to participate were they not? Why’d they stop that? No one really knows whether the thing in the cave is really a woman. I mean we all think she is. But maybe that’s how it wants to appear to us all. I’m sure you also have heard of the alien creature theory? The time traveler theory? And even setting these aside for a moment, if the creature really was a woman, can’t women satisfy women better? Don’t they know what they want better?”
The man smirked at K. “So you mean to say women are better at sex than you? You’re not going to make her come with that attitude my friend.”
Now we were all watching the men even more closely: two of the greatest lovers… no fuckers… on the planet measuring their dicks for everyone else to see. If either of them succeeded it would be a story to tell our grandkids.
“You’ve completely missed my point,” K retorted. “Why’d you deny almost half the earth a chance to save the planet? Sure women can’t match up to me. But I definitely know some who’re better than you!”
“I know you know the answer to your questions kid. Just watch your mouth however boy…”
“If you ask me,” one of the other guys quickly intervened, “at the root of this entire problem is a sexually depraved woman. I don’t think we should encourage women to further explore their sexuality. I honestly feel bitches know more than they must already.”
K silently spat on the ground. “Nobody asked you for fucks sake. And we aren’t here to discuss your philosophies. Just stand in the line and applaud for me as I save your worthless asses.”
Before the argument escalated, distraction arrived in the form of a man coming out of the cave. It was his first time.
“Monster…” he was screaming. “This is rape!” he cried. He was frothing at the mouth, rendered delirious by his experience.
The man just scoffed and muttered: “weakling.” K spat on the ground again and another guy in the line boasted for all to hear: “real men don’t get raped.”
I was nervous now. But I couldn’t display any weakness,I was a man now. However I began to wonder whether it really wasn’t rape? I’m sure a lot of us didn’t want to be here. Did it really matter to that boy if someone saved the worldnow? Wasn’t he already dead? But what about sacrifice? People died in wars didn’t they? They died for a cause. And was life really over after a bad sexual encounter? I knew it was pointless to try to answer these questions. Everybody had their own opinions and at the end of the day it was a personal thing wasn’t it? I just remembered what my mom told me as I was preparing to leave: “Enjoy it!”
“How was your first time with her?” somebody asked the man.
We all knew what had happened of course, but we wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth.
“I saw the cloak…” the man said. He seemed to be lost in thought for a while afterwards, as if he was trying to repress a bad memory. However he began again:
“Nothing in your life can prepare you for your first experience in the cave. It is an assault on all your senses. Every nerve in your body is on fire and it takes immense self-control not to orgasm as you look at her. Most of the men haven’t even fully undressed before they are done. If you manage to get your dick into her you’ve done more than most.”
“She is beautiful, that woman. Some say that she knows the innermost desires of your heart and can make you realize it by just looking at you. Nobody who has an untamed mind has any chance of conquering her. In the four years between my first and second attempts, I’d practiced ways to control my mind as much as I trained my body.”
“Can you describe her?” I asked.
Try as he may, the man was unable to paint a coherent picture of the woman in the cave. Maybe she was magic after all. Maybe she didn’t even exist… maybe it was a trick our consciousness played on our senses.
“It is a physical manifestation of one’s oppressed desires,” K said. “Some people even say she is a manifestation of suppressed female lust given form by an alien civilization to conquer our planet. That’s probably why women who’d entered the cave actually felt a kinship with the creature. They forgot its purpose in the throes of their own ecstasy. All of this is speculation. However it is because of this women aren’t allowed to participate. Because unknown to them they want this creature to win.”
“Pfft… feminist…” said the man.
“What… how? I’m as misogynistic as they come.” said K.
By now, the sun had begun to set and day was slowly transitioning into night. We all continued talking, waiting our turns, scared for our lives, scared for our planet. With the setting sun everyday a feeling of despair also sets it. Did any of it matter, I asked myself as another guy came out of the cave; head hung in shame.
I hope he at least enjoyed it.