Rolled Monk

Archive for June, 2010|Monthly archive page

Lollapalooza

In Peeterru!, Singaara Chennai! on June 30, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Hello random reader,

Lollapalooza was a word I came across recently and got really attracted to. It actually sounds like an abbreviation for “Lola Kutty on a Pulsar eating pizza”. Apart from my desire to share this information with the hapless people, that is you, who read my blog, the word has no relevance to this post. Now that I have cleared this pressing issue from my agenda, allow me to continue on with my post.

As soon as I write a post, before I hit the publish button, I make my sister take a look at it. I pester her for her opinions which always revolve around how ridiculously pathetic my posts turn out to be. These comments of hers can appropriately be summarized into: waste-of-my-time-waste-of-the-readers-time-waste-of-cyber-space-and-most-important-of-all-waste-of-her-precious-time. But being me, I brave all her slandering with a smile on my face and publish them anyways.

This last post of mine however, I did not ask for her opinions (mainly because I thought I knew what she was going to say), and published it. I couldn’t have been more wrong. She read the post and this is what she had to say: “It seems like an innocent boy’s desperate attempt at humor, which he has miserably failed to create…”

I lost track of what she said afterwards (which I am pretty sure was regarding how it was a waste of her time), because the word “innocent” kept resounding in my head.

If you have seen Baasha, you probably remember the scene just before the flash-back, where Thalaivar is all alone in a room and the words “sollunga…bombayla neenga yaaru? enna pannitu iruntheenga?” (tell me…who were you in Bombay, what were you doing there?), echoes continuously in the background. This was my state then with “innocent”, getting the honors here.

After about 5-10 minutes of stunned speechlessness, I ran to the other room in my home. We have this huge mirror there, in front of which I stood and began staring into my eyes. I suddenly had this uncontrollable urge to pee and I ran to the bath room and relived myself. Then I came back and continued staring at the mirror and what I saw pleased me.

There was not a shred of innocence in those eyes. Those cold heartless eyes which looked like Leonidas’ just before he was slain. I looked up at the sky (okay, the ceiling) and shouted out a few well-strung expletives to show my gratitude to whoever was up there, which did nothing except wake my sleeping grandmother, who cursed me with impotency and a life of begging and diseases for disturbing her sleep.

Still undeterred, I gave the issue further thought. I mean, how could she have said such a thing? I finally decided to let bygones be bygones and came up with a solution.  Here are a few promises I make to myself and my readers concerning my future posts :

Promises :

1. I will use at least one swear word in all my future writings.

2. I will include open references to women-kind and their idiotic idiosyncrasies.

3. I will not publish a post unless I literally ROFL’d reading it (a warning here though, I ROFL for all my jokes and attempts at humor however bad they are)

4. I will ensure that I implement promises 1, 2, 3 and 4 in all my posts.

This is what she said after reading this post :

“The previous post looked like an innocent boy’s attempt. It had no humor whatsoever (heart-broken). This post is not so innocent and comes under the “desperate attempt for humor” category. And you already implement all your promises anyway.”

So here I am, publishing this anyway!

So till I write again…ciao ciao.

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