Rolled Monk

To C or not to C at NITC!

In Uncategorized on June 7, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Hello random reader,

I was watching this program on CNBC a few days back  (yes I watch intellectual programs too, not just FTV or midnight masala), where they where explaining stuff about black money, money-laundering, redistribution of wealth et al. I do not know whether my grasp on these concepts improved or not but “redistribution of wealth” seemed to strike a chord. It answered a lot of questions which I had back in my first year of college.

Oh! and before I proceed, let me tell you how things are at my college.

Every girl in my year is equivalent to Draupathi. Who is Draupathi? She was the wife of the 5 Pandava brothers in the Mahabharata. She was the epitome of love, care and sacrifice. Now before you jump to conclusions, let me reassure you; the girls I am talking about don’t even come close to being an epitome for these things. They are like Draupathi just because of the fact that the boy-girl ratio in my year is 5 is to 1 (7:1 in my immediate junior year; 9:1 in the next year and to be increased further and also, the Mahabharata is being rewritten to accommodate these anomalies). For every girl good or bad or ugly, 5 boys must compete (which they rarely do (and you got to trust me on this)), putting their life at great peril (if you get what I mean) to woo these damsels causing distress.

Another thing which I personally feel very bad about, is the fact that the fingers of your right hand alone are more than sufficient for arriving at the number of good-looking* girls in a year. This and the fact that junior boys can be easily intimidated are probably the reasons why a lot of the boys go behind junior girls. Their claim is that every year the number of good-looking girls are increasing (quite contrary to my views, for “almost” all the girls I have deemed as good-looking were seniors).

So now that you have a basic idea of how tough and exciting it is for us testosterone-charged-adrenaline-pumping-Axe-using men to find a mate in this jungle (the Axe-effect is negated because almost everybody uses it. So like ancient times, it comes down to who has more reputation in the tribe and of course let’s not forget the magical four-letter word – CASH (or love) ), let me get on with my rants.

Without exception, in every year, these good-looking girls are in either of these two branches – Civil or Electrical**. I have spent countless sleepless nights cursing my ancestors for some heinous sin of theirs because of which I am chained by woe and misery in the computer science department. And before I forget, there are 3 kinds of women here : Mallus***, Mallu-Dasas****, and non-Mallus. Now if you think I am dumb enough to tell you what I think of each of them separately and get my ass kicked when I return, you are wrong. This is just information you have to take in passing.

To hit on women in my college, you got to have one or both of these qualifications – You have to be a Mallu or be good in English. Don’t ask me why because that’s just how we roll here. Also, if you listen to a lot of metal and rock or any English song for that matter, and know the names of at least 5 popular bands and can scatter them through your conversations appearing wise and intelligent (phew!), you get extra brownie points (which are also awarded just like that if you are a Lalettan***** fan).

So where were we? Ah! yes, Civil and Electrical. So, in your first year of college, if you realize all these things, you will probably feel depressed, oppressed, suppressed and dejected. The college came up with a plan… (lightning crackles and evil laughter echoes in the back-ground)

In the first year and first year only, divide the students into batches and give every batch 2 good-looking women, one – a mallu, other a dasa-mallu (of course, drop a non mallu here and there). And so thus, wealth (or as me matey Jack would’av put it : Booty) was redistributed. This kept the students busy and made them even attend classes regularly.

Then, by your 3rd semester, nitc hits you hard, your department hits you hard, the subjects hit you hard, if you have a girlfriend, she hits you hard and last but not least, life hits you hard and you are reduced to joblessness and boredom. You begin noticing all the other girls and start coming up with statistics, which 2 years down the line will evolve into this ridiculous and nonsensical blog post.

Before I forget, there are another group of people who live in a completely different planet. They are called Archies****** and according to me, they deserve the title “Hippies of the world”. And did I mention that they are also the ones who are most brutally raped by this holy institution?

* – rated on the scale of beauty created under joint efforts of me, bala, babu and dinesh.

** –  based on years of data and roll-lists collected from the college site and stalking everyone on Facebook or orkut.

*** – Mallus is how the non-Mallus and some liberal Mallus refer to the indigenous people of Kerala

**** – Dasa is an acronym for Direct Admission to students from abroad and recent polls have shown that a lot of people want to be Dasas. So a new class called wannabe Dasa is under discussion and might be implemented soon.

***** – You do not know Lalettan? And you have the temerity to visit my blog! Faack aaf!!!

****** – Architecture student you dumb-ass, not the comics. Sheesh!

Now we have a dilemma. Should  I have written no harm intended. This was done just for fun at the end of this post? Sleep on it…

So till I write again…ciao ciao.

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  1. ROFL!!!… as we say in malayalam… ‘MAARAKAM’…

  2. Very well said. And the fact about civil and electrical (collected from roll lists and social networking sites) seems to be changing, I guess. 😉

    Last line (before the first *) is the biggest reality for the Archies (I had always thought they were Arkies, though never bothered to write that down 🙂

  3. Scale of beauty.Lol! And true about the Axe (non) effect.

  4. brilliant post machaa..
    Your post echoes every sentiment that the mech batch (04-08) felt.(p.s_our batch of a single girl or non-male as we would refer do them in the days of the yore).
    I am baffled by the evolving techniques employed to get it on with the NITC damsels.I mean “bands and music” ,”cash” these didnt figure in my first yr.Hell,there
    wasn’t a girl who knew Nirvana or Pantera till rock mime happened.

  5. i was wondering why u didn’t add archies while i was reading… 😉 then it came in the last… awesome post man!

  6. @joel thnx

    @kartik refer the first * 😉 (our scale of beauty!)

    @dhan yes! your 2 roommates were great contributors…esp babu

    @chutney haha true indeed! but their lack of knowledge adds to the boys’ mystery and allure doesnt it?

    @sreerag thnx man! and how will i forget the archies!

  7. kickass macha….the very sentiments we share, just think of us mechies. More like a kaurava clan,the ratio crippled to 100 :1….
    Awesome read…

  8. @abhinav
    mate bloody awesome!!!!!!! 10/10 only u can do this mate only u ……………….

    @rohit only if i could like ur comment………kaurava clan hilarious lmao

  9. nice post, I like the site

  10. Haha…nice one man…keep it up!

  11. @rohit haha! i guess all of u cud be durchaadhanaas (each of you gets a draupathi) and I could be lord Krishna their savior 😛

    @susmin, mike and anto : thnx ppl!!! 🙂

  12. […] where explaining stuff about black money, money-laundering, redistribution of wealth et al. …Page 2 var a2a_config = a2a_config || {}; a2a_localize = { Share: "Share", Save: "Save", Subscribe: […]

  13. very well said..

  14. now thats a post everyone in nitc can relate to male and non-male.. nice job nave…

  15. Nicely done man….I really liked the part about the classification of girls at NITC…and…wannabe DASA’s…..Absolutely hilarious….Keep up the good work mate..!!

  16. dude…’wannabe dasas’ is copyrighted..!!well, u should consider classifying the nonmallus further…(p.s where are all the bihari babuas nd yemteks(M.TECH)?)

    • wannabe dasas copyrighted?? didnt know tht man!
      and this is abt girls! as far as i know, the last girl from Bihar in the college was way back in 1972 😛
      and I DONT LOOK AT MTECH FEMALES (unless they are extremely compelling or in one of my labs)

  17. I thought only my college had that skewed a girl-boy ratio.

    +1 for some points above…
    * classification. Here they are simply males and non-males.
    * the hotter girl is invariably in the senior batches.

    The desperation increases a thousand fold as the LAN here has Terabytes of porn….we have no option but to revert to them….and then feel sad coz this is what we are doomed to do for 4 years in a row.

    Fucking awesome post!

    • @ saurabh…thnx…and abt the porn…i think my college boasts of the bestest collection in Kerala and even better than IITM i heard…let the tera-bytes roll!

  18. ws fun reading .. nyc post 😀

  19. […] Will NITC ever get good-looking girls? […]

  20. Awesome man! LMAO! i really cracked up at the “hippies of the world” part………but i the civil and electrical girls being good changed in our year( atleast electrical ) -____-

  21. niicee one abhinav… i see u write best on issues close to ur heart 😛 keep up the good work!!

  22. thanks people and @divya issues close to the heart indeed… 😛

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