To C or not to C at NITC!

Hello random reader,

I was watching this program on CNBC a few days back  (yes I watch intellectual programs too, not just FTV or midnight masala), where they where explaining stuff about black money, money-laundering, redistribution of wealth et al. I do not know whether my grasp on these concepts improved or not but “redistribution of wealth” seemed to strike a chord. It answered a lot of questions which I had back in my first year of college.

Oh! and before I proceed, let me tell you how things are at my college.

Every girl in my year is equivalent to Draupathi. Who is Draupathi? She was the wife of the 5 Pandava brothers in the Mahabharata. She was the epitome of love, care and sacrifice. Now before you jump to conclusions, let me reassure you; the girls I am talking about don’t even come close to being an epitome for these things. They are like Draupathi just because of the fact that the boy-girl ratio in my year is 5 is to 1 (7:1 in my immediate junior year; 9:1 in the next year and to be increased further and also, the Mahabharata is being rewritten to accommodate these anomalies). For every girl good or bad or ugly, 5 boys must compete (which they rarely do (and you got to trust me on this)), putting their life at great peril (if you get what I mean) to woo these damsels causing distress.

Another thing which I personally feel very bad about, is the fact that the fingers of your right hand alone are more than sufficient for arriving at the number of good-looking* girls in a year. This and the fact that junior boys can be easily intimidated are probably the reasons why a lot of the boys go behind junior girls. Their claim is that every year the number of good-looking girls are increasing (quite contrary to my views, for “almost” all the girls I have deemed as good-looking were seniors).

So now that you have a basic idea of how tough and exciting it is for us testosterone-charged-adrenaline-pumping-Axe-using men to find a mate in this jungle (the Axe-effect is negated because almost everybody uses it. So like ancient times, it comes down to who has more reputation in the tribe and of course let’s not forget the magical four-letter word – CASH (or love) ), let me get on with my rants.

Without exception, in every year, these good-looking girls are in either of these two branches – Civil or Electrical**. I have spent countless sleepless nights cursing my ancestors for some heinous sin of theirs because of which I am chained by woe and misery in the computer science department. And before I forget, there are 3 kinds of women here : Mallus***, Mallu-Dasas****, and non-Mallus. Now if you think I am dumb enough to tell you what I think of each of them separately and get my ass kicked when I return, you are wrong. This is just information you have to take in passing.

To hit on women in my college, you got to have one or both of these qualifications – You have to be a Mallu or be good in English. Don’t ask me why because that’s just how we roll here. Also, if you listen to a lot of metal and rock or any English song for that matter, and know the names of at least 5 popular bands and can scatter them through your conversations appearing wise and intelligent (phew!), you get extra brownie points (which are also awarded just like that if you are a Lalettan***** fan).

So where were we? Ah! yes, Civil and Electrical. So, in your first year of college, if you realize all these things, you will probably feel depressed, oppressed, suppressed and dejected. The college came up with a plan… (lightning crackles and evil laughter echoes in the back-ground)

In the first year and first year only, divide the students into batches and give every batch 2 good-looking women, one – a mallu, other a dasa-mallu (of course, drop a non mallu here and there). And so thus, wealth (or as me matey Jack would’av put it : Booty) was redistributed. This kept the students busy and made them even attend classes regularly.

Then, by your 3rd semester, nitc hits you hard, your department hits you hard, the subjects hit you hard, if you have a girlfriend, she hits you hard and last but not least, life hits you hard and you are reduced to joblessness and boredom. You begin noticing all the other girls and start coming up with statistics, which 2 years down the line will evolve into this ridiculous and nonsensical blog post.

Before I forget, there are another group of people who live in a completely different planet. They are called Archies****** and according to me, they deserve the title “Hippies of the world”. And did I mention that they are also the ones who are most brutally raped by this holy institution?

* – rated on the scale of beauty created under joint efforts of me, bala, babu and dinesh.

** –  based on years of data and roll-lists collected from the college site and stalking everyone on Facebook or orkut.

*** – Mallus is how the non-Mallus and some liberal Mallus refer to the indigenous people of Kerala

**** – Dasa is an acronym for Direct Admission to students from abroad and recent polls have shown that a lot of people want to be Dasas. So a new class called wannabe Dasa is under discussion and might be implemented soon.

***** – You do not know Lalettan? And you have the temerity to visit my blog! Faack aaf!!!

****** – Architecture student you dumb-ass, not the comics. Sheesh!

Now we have a dilemma. Should  I have written no harm intended. This was done just for fun at the end of this post? Sleep on it…

So till I write again…ciao ciao.