Rolled Monk

The value of wasted time!

In Kozhikode!, Paati sonna stories!, Peeterru! on August 7, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Hello random reader,

I seldom hear voices in my head. If I did though, it could mean either of these two things – I am stoned or I am going to be screwed.

Had I remembered this above written line, I would have gotten stoned and gone back to sleep when I first heard that voice inside my head. That sweet, mellifluous and enchanting voice which gently prodded my mind awake and asked me to attend that class. That class so wrongly named as value education, where if and only if you possess great insight like me, you will understand that the only thing you will learn about is the value of a free afternoon on a weekday.

The great insight I possess also indicates that if one truly possesses such great insight, then one would have cleared this subject the first time, unlike me. Why I have a back in this subject though is a story for another time, and at that time, I might probably enlighten certain confused souls out there about the pre-historic nature of the back-concept explaining in great detail why it should have been taken away with the dinosaurs.

So, this voice urges me to go to the class and as always, there was this small and seemingly insurmountable problem. I didn’t know the venue of the class. I asked one of my juniors to find out from his batch-mates when and where exactly the class would be held and to my great amazement and relief he obliged. By this point of time the voice had grown stronger and was constantly reminding me of the importance of this subject for the advancement of my career (which right now seems to be on the brink of death (in spite of the constant reassurances)).

I headed for this class jubilantly armed with the knowledge of…er…where it is held. The class was at 2 pm and when I reached the door at one minute 33.63 seconds past two, it was closed. I was outside with another junior of mine, discussing what to do and it took us another 26.37 seconds to decide to enter the class.

We go in and as usual I began walking to the last row…and that is when it all started. It was as if a dam had broken and voices began to flood my head.

Faculty : Wait! wait…Where are you going? What time is it?

Me : Sir…er…

Voice : Tell him its only 2 past 2 and if he doesn’t believe it, show him your watch. If he still has a doubt, explain to him in great detail how you spent the 2 minutes after 2.

Me : Sir…er…

Faculty : You are wasting my time. Why, you are wasting the time of the students here. Go to your seats and stand for 5 minutes.

Me : Sir…er..sorry (and I go to the last row with 4 other guys and we stand)

Voice : This is fucking ridiculous. Stand in your place? What the fuck are we? 2nd standard kids. I am a final year student for gods sakes. And with all his talk about wasting time, this guy actually was wasting more time than us…

Faculty : Why are you going to the last row? There’s place here in the front no? Come forward.

We all go forward, dreading the prospect of standing in the first row, where thankfully, we just sit down and he doesn’t mind. Now, 2 more students enter the class…

Voice : hehe! now the fun begins…

Faculty : What is the time now. You people have to pay these other kids. Come up here.

How much do you pay per year as your tuition fee?, he asks the class at random. Some guy goes 35000/- He writes it on the board and asks one of the late-comers to calculate how much every student is losing because of his coming late and wasting time.

Voice : It’s you who is wasting the time dipshit. You could just send him out or make him sit with a warning. Now he will have to divide 35000 by (365-185) – the average number of working days, find out the tuition fee per day and again divide the result by 4 – the average working hours in a day, and finally divide it by 3600, to calculate the amount per second. This has to be multiplied with with the amount of seconds he has was asked to find out the amount.

The late-comer does not possess my great mathematical skills and stares at the number 35000 written on the board for 33 seconds exactly (add this to the wasted time too), and is finally asked to sit down.

Gboy (my friend with whom I was sitting in that class): This guy really knows how to impart values doesn’t he? Good choice for a value education teacher.

Voice : …Oh wait…the amount calculated above was what he had to pay per student. Multiply it by 100 and you get the amount he has to pay to the class! oops…99, he cant include himself can he?

Gboy : I have never attended such a value education class in my life…”what a man!”

Me : indeed…

Finally, he asks everybody to settle down.

Faculty : Since this is a 1.5 hr class, I will be going a bit slow and I will ask questions to the late-comers.

Me : Questions?

Voice : Yeah right? As if he is going to ask us to determine whether a problem is NP complete. It’s value education…he will probably ask us “why is children’s day celebrated on November 14th?”

Gboy : What the fuck is he writing on the board?

I look up and there it was, in block letters on the board. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Memory Management

Me : Gboy, machan, find out what class this is from the guy behind you.

Voice : I have seen this before….but where?

Gboy : This is Program design class it seems. Not value education…

Me : What? We are sitting in the first row…we have to tell him and go! I cannot sit here for 1.5hrs and he’d expect me to take notes.

Voice : Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Motherfucker!

Gboy : You are at least from the same department… I am in electronics. Ask him, we will leave.

Me : Yeah… sir…Sir…SIR…

Voice : Don’t! Don’t! Don’t!

Faculty : What is it now? You are interrupting me again!

Me : Sir I think we are in the wrong class. I thought it was value-ed. Sorry sir..

Voice : Yeah! Sorry indeed…why don’t you give him a blowjob!

Faculty : Now you have to pay them…you are wasting their time… Who told you this was value-ed?

Me : Sir, it was a wrongly passed on information…sorry

Faculty : If some one tells you there was a value-ed class from 2-3 in Calicut city hall, would you have gone there?

Voice : Calicut has a city hall?

Me : No sir…

Faculty : So why are you here?

Voice : I am wondering about the same thing too! And as for your previous question, I would have bunked the class, just like I should have bunked this one…

Faculty : Get out now…

Me : Thank you sir…(and we run out from that place as fast as our legs could carry us!

Voice : VALUE EDUCATION INDEED! Someone should calculate how much time of yours he has wasted!

I did and in monetary terms, it came upto like at least 10 million dollars. Of course, my time is rated at a very high price and I also inclued the time it took me to conceive and write this post.

So till I write again…ciao ciao.

  1. Just an important question, how the hell on Earth am I a random reader? I am a reader. I am not random. People do NOT arrive on your blog RANDOMLY. They see it somewhere, want to read it, thus click it. Not everything in this world is random. Also, sorry for the nuisance I am… but, I just couldn’t read the post further. Bad timing for the post. *bad mood*

    PS: Keep writing – “randomly!”

  2. thnx for the random comment 🙂

    PS: Keep commenting – “randomly”

  3. Oh, you have made this incident multiple times more enjoyable. I was regretting I didn’t know exactly what had happened. 😉

  4. ROFL!! now thts a good one i have enjoyed in a long time… did u get to the class finally…

  5. @kartik thanks mate..
    @joel no da…it was value-ed class…it had gotten canceled and instead there was PD! :-/

  6. Hey, great article! Where do you go to college? I’m looking into them now and it’s very daunting!

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