Rolled Monk

Archive for June, 2015|Monthly archive page

Why do we have kids?

In Uncategorized on June 29, 2015 at 1:43 pm

Well the first and most obvious reason I could think of is to extend our lineage; somebody to carry our names into the next generation and beyond. A miserable attempt at immortality maybe? I remember this line from a fucked up movie I saw (whose name I’ve ironically forgotten): “Every person dies two deaths. The first time is when they actually die and the second time is when the last person who knew them dies.” I’m not going to digress into what exactly that shit meant by “knew them” because that will take up the rest of my life and I’m afraid it won’t be much of a legacy. Legacy! Yes. That’s what kids are to a lot of parents.

Another reason is social status. Don’t ask me how or why; that’s just what it is. I’ve cringed and sighed internally every time I’ve heard some uncle or aunty go: “It’s been more than 2 years since they’ve been married no? I wonder what’s wrong!” Nothing NEEDS to be wrong you dumb shit! Maybe they don’t want kids? Maybe they’ve made a decision to have a kid later? These are the good maybes though and we hate good maybes. Maybe she is infertile? What the fuck? She isn’t a piece of land (well metaphorically she is; you plant a seed, nourish it and all that but still what the fuck!). Maybe his dick doesn’t work? Maybe their marriage is breaking apart? Maybe she has to give in-laws dowry before he fucks her without a condom? These are the kind of page 3 maybes which really interests us which has made being childless after marriage a fucking stigma. And thus, we reproduce.

This is the most selfish reason I could think of: “a product of our love!” Well alright, as far as reasons go, it is not that fucked up and definitely better than the previous ones. But it is selfish. Because fuck you and your love. It is ephemeral. You can’t guarantee me you’ll live tomorrow let alone love. At least call it as “a product of our pact to tolerate each other for the rest of eternity; or maybe until we are pissed off beyond balls with each other.” But most people will end up loving their kids even if they start hating their partners and half their child is basically that other person anyway. So the kids are a living and breathing testimony to whatever you have/had with your partner (not sex duh! Love).

The next one is pretty simple. It also explains why we have such a huge population. Because we like to fuck our women; not have sex, because that implies pleasure for both the involved parties. Girl marries boy, boy fucks girl, girl becomes pregnant, child-birth, rinse, repeat (except for the marrying boy bit). This isn’t as true today as it was some 4-5 decades ago in the sense that people still do the same thing but only start using protection after a couple of kids. Thank God for that!

Then there are those born of hate. When you see shit on the newspaper like he raped me and I carried the child to term, your middle class or upper middle class sensibilities tries to grapple with that shit. You wrestle with it pin it on the floor and try beating it with logic. But that fucker just won’t die. Not even if you set it on fire. I’ve learned to just sigh and go ‘People!’ in my head every time I see that kind of news. But why is the fucking kid illegitimate again? The incident was illegitimate. We need new fucking terminology man (or woman to please your feminist tits)!

There are other fringe reasons like our parents want to become grandparents; our uncles want to become granduncles; you want to have sex with a pregnant woman because they’re supposedly more beautiful (I’m just making this shit up as I go along). But you see where I am going don’t you? Well I don’t. But if you did really see it, let me know. And no, I’m not asking you to not have kids! I won’t rob you of your misery or happiness whatever genetics throws your way.

The only thing I would like to point out is that there is no real reason for why we are here. And there’s nowhere we’re going afterwards too (disagree all you want but I’ll say I told you so when we meet in hell… Wait! What?). So try and find out why your parents had you. It might be fun (or might drive you to suicide) and might give you a couple of more new reasons to have kids of your own if and when the time comes.